Managing Distractions

“All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” - Pascal

If you are like me you want distractions in your life.  

Perhaps you feel you owe yourself an hour or two in front of the TV after a hard days work. Perhaps you enjoy a good book and believe that no soak in the bath or bedtime would be complete without your favourite reading material.  Some of us are wired up for socialising and spend most of our free time with friends. Some of us just can't leave our computers or smart devices alone - what are our mates up to on Facebook?  What's the latest scoop on Twitter or Instagram? 

Of course any of the above may actually be good for you, but, as Paul points out, while everything might be permissible, not everything is beneficial.  It depends on the circumstances.

So when does a pleasurable pastime become a distraction?

• When it hinders the discipline of "sitting quietly in a room alone" at least once every few days.

• When we can't do without it, even when it's inconvenient to self and nauseating to others 

Yet in a strange way distractions are the general anaesthetic that dulls the aches and pains of reality. 

There's nothing like a fast to remind you of this.  We're currently in the middle of a three-dayer and I've decided to give Facebook a miss for the duration and if possible for longer.  If possible.  As though avoiding Facebook were impossible.

But today I was reminded Just how much I crave and seek out distractions.

It was a fairly light day work-wise so I was in a position to swim, take an afternoon nap and, at 4pm, go for a walk with the dogs.  Blogger Seth Godin (coincidentally a cancer survivor) sees his daily dog-walk as a privilege and not a chore.  In a piece entitled "assorted tips", Godin says that "taking your dog for a walk is usually better than whatever alternative use of your time you were considering".  

Yet I have to actively remind myself of this, especially today.  Though I enjoy the route we take, my reaction to the prospect of 45 minutes alone was one of mild yet discernible anxiety.  A longish walk - particularly in light of the fast - would in one sense be a great chance to focus on the spiritual issues surrounding it.  Yet where on earth would I find the focus and staying power to do that for the better part of an hour?

I'm learning a lot about what it takes to cultivate the discipline of solitude.  I'm onto day 5 without Facebook and am finding it to be a liberating experience.  For one thing my phone battery is lasting at least a day longer than it usually does.

Let's hope my spiritual stamina follows suit!

"We live, in fact, in a world starved for solitude, silence, and private:  and therefore starved for meditation and true friendship"

C.S. Lewis

The Art of Joy

Lately I've been thinking about the word "Joy".  This is because I am not a particularly joyful person.

Like many of you I live with my head up my backside.  Amongst other things, I am guilty about doing too much of this and too little of that.  I overlook beauty and fixate on triviality.  I have a gnawing anxiety about becoming irrelevant, not having enough money and becoming a phantom before I die.

Why this mediocre half-life?

Maybe it's because Joy doesn't mean a whole lot anymore.  Let's face it, the word has been taken into all sorts of laughably inappropriate areas by advertisers - from German luxury cars to lollipops for kids.

For my part, it may be because I've always thought Joy to be a bit of a naff emotion. When I was a kid, my mum had a frumpy old friend named Joy who liked gardening and who wore bad frocks.  I guess I've never quite gotten over the association.

And then there's the pursuit of joy which seems altogether unfashionable in the "real world".  In one sense being Joyful just isn't cool anymore.  Far better to be the edgy cynic right?

Two stories have forced me to give Joy a second and serious look.  Consider the following:

Firstly, a sudden illness in the family.  On July 1, my sister-in-law was diagnosed with cancer.  Nothing pulls things so sharply into focus - or so I am told - than the possibility that you may not live to stuff your next Christmas turkey. Indeed, this was the spectre which loomed large for my brother and his wife as they awaited a clearer prognosis.  In a recent blog, my brother wrote the following:

"... it occurred to me that today is our only reality. Tomorrow is not reality. Tomorrow may never come. Further, my perception of tomorrow is an illusion. Tomorrow does not exist as my mind imagines it, for tomorrow will always be different to what I expect. But today is today. I live in the present moment of today, not in the past or in the future.

For these reasons, I could see that “today” was a precious gift and something that needed to be unwrapped with joy

Though my sister-in-law would never have asked it for herself (nor would any of us have wished it upon her) - both she and my brother are experiencing a side to to their life in God which precious few of us who are healthy get to feel.  They are discovering that Joy is especially abundant in dark places.

Secondly, consider the exciting journey upon which a friend named Lara Kruiskamp has embarked.  18 months ago, Lara was going places in corporate - and I mean seriously going places.  Then she heard God telling her to give it all up and follow an outrageously ambitious dream.  A bit like serious illness, there's nothing like living off your savings and repeatedly saying "no" to lucrative job offers to pull life sharply into focus.  But because of this, Lara is living in the sweet spot of her dream, her gifts and God's plan for her life.  This is happening because she's actively saying "no" to things that others think are sensible.  Her life may well be simple but it's joyful.  For more on Lara's journey click here

Both stories remind me of that harrowing scene from Fight Club where Brad Pitt puts a gun to the head of a convenience store till operator to get him to face reality in light of the dreams he once had.  After taking him to the brink of death he eventually lets the man go remarking:  "Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of his life.  His breakfast will taste better than any meal you and I have ever tasted..."  

Here are a few thoughts I've had about Joy:

• Joy is cool!
• Joy lies on the other side of an overwhelming obstacle
• While Joy may alight with the grace of a butterfly is as hard as nails 
• Joy is not cheap.  It won't be purchased on my Edgars account nor is it a perk that comes with my latest promotion or contract
• Joy discriminates, attaching herself to people who understand life's real trade-offs and who content themselves with (and even rejoice in) the one's less traded.  
• Joy is an art.