Farewell 2012

It’s December 31st and by my reckoning the hottest day of 2012.  Trust Mother Nature to see the year out with a bang!

2012 has been a bittersweet year combining intense highs with a sprinkling of bewildering lows.

The year began with a panic attack about work – or rather my perceived lack thereof.  In mid January I was convinced 2012 was going to be disastrous financially and that Lisa and I ought to be tightening our belts immediately.  I explored my stress in a post called “Sparrow Faith and my own business” 

I am pleased to say that the year has been anything but calamitous in this regard.  And though I had more “inspiration-time” than anticipated it still looks as though I am going to equal or better 2011’s revenue – not that it all comes down to money.  Strangely enough, in spite of God’s miraculous provision in 2012, I once again find myself looking at the year ahead with some degree of trepidation.  As my mate Trevor Mitchell says of working for oneself:  “It’s rather like jumping out of a 100 story building – on the way down, someone on the 75th floor yells out ‘how’s it going?’ – to which you reply – “so far so good!’”

In case I’ve led you to believe that a successful year is all about achieving one’s financial goals let me move swiftly on.  In the earlier part of 2012 I wrote a series of posts on personal growth and making one’s life matter.  The Tyrannical “to-do” list, Note to self: Don’t waste your life and Molested by Obligations were all attempts to rally myself into making proper time for recreation, contemplation and relationship with Christ.  I am afraid to say that I have not made satisfactory ground in this department.  Even an unbeliever may experience personal growth if he sets his heart upon it.  What I was after was an authentic, Christ-centred journey and a discernible move towards purposeful, Kingdom living.  As Paul wrote to the Corinthians,  “if only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men”.  

How to put this right?  Of course I know the answer!  It's motivation and discipline that matters.  It's also knowing that the decision alone to advance in relationship isn't enough:  good intentions are always trumped by the path you chose in life.  It was Andy Stanley's timely reminder which prompted the post How I lost 10 years of my life    

There was however one area of my faith journey that proved surprisingly satisfying:  our new home fellowship that grew in leaps and bounds throughout the course of the year – not just numerically but relationally too.  Perhaps the one great learning I take out of 2012 is a new appreciation of the inestimable gift of fellowship.  Indeed, along with prayer, it is the one tool God has given us all in abundant measure (we dare not waste it) to grow in him.  To my wife Lisa, Trevor and Sharon Packer, Ian and Marthie Kruger, Liz Steyn, Lorna Daniels, Lil Longden, Bheki and Thobile Mhlane, Andrew and Mel Clarkson, Des Hobart, Andreas Wassenaar and Tim Binder – thanks for your support of our Tuesday night meetings as well as all the fantastic times in between.  You have enabled a kind of growth in me that might otherwise not have been possible.

Another feature of 2012 was travel; in January, to a very cold and dreary London where, amongst other things I got the chance to visit Google’s UK offices.  Though my visit was brief, I was taken by the company’s enterprising spirit and ferocious ingenuity.  Unswayed by the obvious gloom and lassitude of the recession, Google is forging ahead - pedal to the metal.  On the wall I saw a quote by Henry Ford:  “If I’d asked Americans what sort of vehicle they wanted they would have asked for a faster horse”.  Perhaps 2013 is about changing the type of questions we ask? 

In June I visited Zimbabwe on a long overdue trip to see my folks.  I came away astonished by the tenacity of Zimbabweans who, in spite of living in a failed state, seem to soldier on regardless.  The human capacity to endure hardship and discomfort has, it seems, no bounds.  I returned to SA freshly reminded that while I may do much to feather my nest, I have very little say over the macro forces which can undo it at any second – illness, war, economic melt-down, etc.  The fact that I can tread the delicate meniscus of life without crashing through is entirely because of God’s goodness.  As Bear Grylls said of Mt Everest: “I didn’t conquer Everest:  Everest allowed me to crawl up the one side and stay on the peak for a few minutes” I wrote a post about that epiphany too.  Click here if you're interested

The highlight however was my 21-day odyssey through the exquisite country of Nepal and the stupendously majestic Himalaya Mountains - the fulfillment of a long standing dream.  The trip was tainted to some degree by the passing of my mother-in-law a week before my departure.  Though it was anticipated, it was a shock nonetheless – particularly for Lisa who I thank for encouraging me to travel regardless.  On the way to Nepal, we spent a morning in Dubai during which Martin Schumacher and I visited the world’s tallest building.  Not 5 hours later, we were weaving our way through the fetid streets of one of the world’s poorest capitals, Kathmandu.  The contrasts were both staggering and thought provoking to say the least.  A big thank you Martin Schumacher, Colin and Sandra Harris and Lil Longden all of who made the trip memorable – for good and bad reasons (Sandra!)  Thanks also to Rajendra Neupane and his team from Ace the Himalaya for the yeoman duties they performed on our behalf at those dizzying altitudes.  Another thanks to Martin – the organizer of the trip; a real gentleman, true adventurer and one of the toughest geezers I know.  If you care to, you can read about our adventures here.

As I go into 2013, I am reminded that anything worthwhile and built to last is going to take time, effort, discipline and sacrifice.  Indeed, I find myself at a cross-roads:  while time stops for no man there may come a time when it is too late to make something of my life.  Why else, I wonder, would the writer of Ecclesiastes have written “Rejoice, young man in the days of your youth”?

“Life”, warns Bill Hybels, “is long enough to live out God’s purpose, but too short to waste a moment”. 

So let me end – as much as a reminder to myself as to anyone else – with something I read recently in Paul Johnson’s “History of the American People”. 

“America did not come about without heroic sacrifice and great sufferings stoically endured, many costly failures, huge disappointments, defeats and tragedies”

I am excited by the future.  But God grant me the stomach for the fight.